Hunting hard

I ain’t real short
I’m average, not tall
But, my dick is veritably small
My microscopic nuts- the size of a golf ball
I gotta COMPENSATE, all in all…
..can’t just drown my pencil-dicked sorrow in alcohol..
So, I got me a prodigious gun, to kill & maul
Making animal blood flow like a waterfall
Pew-pew-pew, I shoot, & down they fall
What’s my devoid of soul, limp dick protocol?
Bang-Boom-rat-a-tat KILL EM ALL
A bloody, murder-fest free-for-all
My brutal killing of animals…totally LEGAL
Gonna Mount that bucks head on my wall
I’ll tell my hunter friends about it in hunter drawl
Gives me a tingle in my puny cock & balls
….despite the animal that I just blasted
My lil pecker is still half-masted
Erectile-dysfunction- half hard/half flaccid
But, i got this gun so massive
For big, strong alpha me
Hunting season makes me happy
Getting food for my family
You see?
Gunning down animals gets me horny
Going on a camo prancing murder spree
Rock hard camaraderie
Hunting harem filled with glee
It’ll breathe life back into my oh-so-puny
teenie weenie
[size of a flea]
I’ll climb on up, ‘n hide in a tree
I’ll sit, & watch, wait, & see
For hapless animals foraging, carefree
They don’t expect big, strong alpha me
Or my impressive, deadly weaponry
Big racked buck coming, oh what a sight to see
Dang, it’s increasing my dick size….temporarily
Ooooh, the crotch of my cargos is getting weighty
This buck is a deadbolt, & I’m the fucking key!
Gonna open him up, ‘n that ain’t hyperbole!


Published by Hyde

Vegan Abolitionist Animal activist, AntiSpeciesist, artist, poet, writer, chronic illness fighter

2 thoughts on “Hunting hard

  1. LUV this website! You speak clearly, coherently and so truthfully exactly what I feel when I see the awful evidence of hunting. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

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