Hunting hard

I ain’t real short
I’m average, not tall
But, my dick is veritably small
My microscopic nuts- the size of a golf ball
I gotta COMPENSATE, all in all…
..can’t just drown my pencil-dicked sorrow in alcohol..
So, I got me a prodigious gun, to kill & maul
Making animal blood flow like a waterfall
Pew-pew-pew, I shoot, & down they fall
What’s my devoid of soul, limp dick protocol?
Bang-Boom-rat-a-tat KILL EM ALL
A bloody, murder-fest free-for-all
My brutal killing of animals…totally LEGAL
Gonna Mount that bucks head on my wall
I’ll tell my hunter friends about it in hunter drawl
Gives me a tingle in my puny cock & balls
….despite the animal that I just blasted
My lil pecker is still half-masted
Erectile-dysfunction- half hard/half flaccid
But, i got this gun so massive
For big, strong alpha me
Hunting season makes me happy
Getting food for my family
You see?
Actually…
Gunning down animals gets me horny
Going on a camo prancing murder spree
Rock hard camaraderie
Hunting harem filled with glee
It’ll breathe life back into my oh-so-puny
teenie weenie
[size of a flea]
Wee-wee
I’ll climb on up, ‘n hide in a tree
I’ll sit, & watch, wait, & see
For hapless animals foraging, carefree
They don’t expect big, strong alpha me
Or my impressive, deadly weaponry
Big racked buck coming, oh what a sight to see
Dang, it’s increasing my dick size….temporarily
Ooooh, the crotch of my cargos is getting weighty
This buck is a deadbolt, & I’m the fucking key!
Gonna open him up, ‘n that ain’t hyperbole!

OpFunKill

Published by Hyde

Vegan Abolitionist Animal activist, AntiSpeciesist, artist, poet, writer, chronic illness fighter

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